La Grande Terre

Our flight from Lifou on Air Caledonie was on time and uneventful. We left Drehu Village in more than enough time because of a lack of confidence in finding the airport again. Key intersections were unmarked, but our memory served us well and we found the airport at Wanaham without trouble, and were able to observe the preparations for one of the few flights of the day. We sat in an open air thatched roundhouse outside the terminal and were entertained by chickens and their chicks pecking around us. The rental car return desk was well and truly closed, but we found a place were Aero staff were washing cars, and they took our key happily.

We puzzled how the lead stewardess on the flight welcomed us on board in English without us saying a word! We figure she must look at the passenger manifest. We were the only non-natives on board, and she must have known in advance that we were Australian.

A minor organisational wheel fell off on our arrival at Magenta Airport, but it was very irritating at the time. Our itinerary gave directions to the Thrifty Rental Car desk, but there was no such thing, and no-one from Thrifty at the airport with our car. Thrifty’s only “sign” at the airport was a tiny locked box to leave your car keys in. Outside, we found an Arc en Ciel bus driver who spoke no English but was very helpful. (This company is responsible for our itinerary in New Caledonia.) On showing her our booking slip, she rang someone, and then promised that the Thrifty car would arrive in “cinq minutes”, which it did, well after 10 minutes anyway. The Thrifty guy was very apologetic, the car was a larger Peugeot than we had ordered, and we suspect that it was the first car he could grab in his rush to get to us. It wasn’t clean inside, and the next day we found it had a half flat tyre, so maybe it wasn’t properly prepared.

Starting at Magenta, we had to drive 310km to Poindimie on New Caledonia‘s upper north-east coast. This was our plan, a big driving day on La Grande Terre to start, then more modest distances to cover thereafter. Following the Thrifty man’s advice, we stuck to the westcoast all the way up the island to Kone, then crossed the mountains to the east along the Transversale to just north of Poindimie. His advice was good! It’s a 2-lane road all the way, but we were able to maintain good average speeds, even though this route must have added 50-100km to the total. On the east side, we were later to discover, the roads are much more twisty, and there are many more tribal villages to pass through. We found a cute snack bar at Boulouparis where we grabbed a crevette Panini and a coke for lunch.

Our hotel in Poindimie was the luxurious Tieta Tera resort, right on the beach. This hotel has been recently renovated and we were placed in a “bungalow”, surely the most modern and outstanding room we have ever stayed in. The restaurant here (at incredible cost) restored our faith in French cuisine after the fairly mundane fare at Drehu Village. That said, we also got a takeaway one night from the Koyaboa pizza shop. Two small pizzas (and two ice-cream) were excellent but set us back over 4000XPF.

The hotel appeared to be pretty busy and was a step more upmarket in both style and clientele than Drehu village. The guests were exclusively French (one Aussie couple, but we only spoke French when they were within earshot). We noted again that French children (of families who can afford holidays here) appear to be very competent swimmers.

The beach at Poindime, and indeed those along the whole east coast, do not resemble the glistening white sands that we loved on Lifou. Here, the sand is coarser and apparently contains minerals which makes it black, and to that extent, unappealing. The beaches are littered with broken coral, driftwood (a lot of it bamboo), and contain a lot of temporary shelters erected by the native population, giving them an interesting but somewhat untidy appearance. Not at Poindimie but elsewhere, the beaches may be affected by offshore reefs, and have very shallow water, although this is tide dependent. At Poindimie, we found the sea water to be warm and clean and a delight to swim in (still no surf), but saw few locals or tourists actually doing so.

Poindimie is a tiny town, and it is hard to believe it is the main hub of the northeast. It has all the usual facilities, a townhall, a gendarmerie, a school and one or two shops as well as an inevitable church or two, but that’s about it. This town has a public swimming pool, and also a couple of petrol stations - not all do.

One day, we took a drive up north as far as Tao. This distance is less than 100km, but it took us 3 hours each way. The road is characterised by neverending potholes, and is lined with numerous stalls selling fruit, shells or plants on an honesty basis, meaning you just leave money in a tin. We bought our lunch this way. The road is shrouded by jungle most of the way, but all that distance is a succession of small houses and tiny tribal villages. Traffic is exceedingly light, and people walk along the narrow roads in relative safety. By appearances, much of the native population live in traditional lifestyles. They basically seem to live off the land and the sea, and make a few francs selling whatever to the tourists passing by. It’s also obvious that many indigenous people have regular jobs, but that all seems to supplement what appears to be a healthy and happy tribal lifestyle. We wouldn’t say that the problems which blight native populations in Australia and elsewhere are absent here, but at least they are not so obvious. What are obvious are tribal sensitivities. We are constantly warned to respect local customs (which is fair enough), and not to take photos without permission on tribal land (which is irritating and inconvenient, and often there seems to be noone about). We feel this is being just a little bit precious, and basically we just chose not to visit tribal areas or to photograph their “cases”.

This is not to say there is any lack of friendliness here. We could learn a lot from this population. Any of the natives we bumped into in the streets, or on the beaches were extremely friendly, and exchanging “bonjour” or “bonsoir” with people of any persuasion wherever you meet them, is par for the course. (When driving, all pedestrians you pass on the side of the road wave to you, and you quickly fall into the habit of waving at everyone you see.)

The coastline itself is spectacular, with hills and cliffs and beautiful inlets. Landslips and washaways appear to be routine. Near the village of Hienghene, there are amazing rock formations, one of which is featured on the XPF500 note. North of there is maybe the only remaining punt (ferry) across a river, the “Bac de la Ouaieme”, a tiny, noisy and geriatric device running across a wide river in a beautiful setting, powered by two fixed outboard motors, and guided by a fixed cable. The photo shows the ferry crossing this mighty river.

At Tao, we paid 400XPF to hike a small distance up to the Cascade de Tao and, all alone, have a swim in a deliciously refreshing pool at the base of the waterfall. A friendly family collects the price of admission off you - it must be great fortune to own a waterfall that you can charge people to visit.

In all of this trip, we could not find a patisserie that was open at any time we were hungry, so we survived the day on the fruit that we had bought by the roadside. Most shops (of the very few along the road) seem to close for long hours in the middle of the day, and some don’t appear to open at all after midday! Travellers in this area must plan and organise their eating in the morning. This does not suit serendipitous grazers like ourselves!

Our next driving day was south down the east coast from Poindimie, then crossing the range to the other side, stopping for a few nights at Sarramea. We saw more of the same beach-side situations with tiny tribal villages and isolated houses, and by skilled navigation (there being no signposting, and we couldn‘t see it from the road) we found another waterfall which had been mentioned in Lonely Planet, this one the Cascade de Bwa with a great and refreshing swimming hole at the base which we took advantage of (see photo). This time, the cost was 100XPF payable into an honesty box, and again, we had the pool to ourselves although a few others arrived just as we were leaving.

We were smarter this day, and had bought a baguette and some cheese before leaving Poindimie. We found a nice picnic table by the river at Houailou, and then set out for Kouaoua after which we would head across the mountains to Sarramea. This stretch of road proved to be an unexpected disaster zone, and a bitter surprise. Driving on the moon could not be more distressing and desolate. The road moves in from the coast and climbs and then drops out of a large mountain range which has been completely stripped of all vegetation by vicious open cut (nickel) mining. There is no sign of remedial work. In fact, not much work is apparent at all, with only a few diggers and trucks seen to be operating over a vast area. No wonder the Lonely Planet and other guides are silent on this area! It is appalling to see, and we read that the adjacent ocean is heavily polluted by runoff from the devegetated mountains and valleys here. Photo shows a view of part of this landscape overlooking the sea. We are sure that nickel mining is a crucial source of wealth for New Caledonia, but the devastation here is a disgrace. It reminded us of Queenstown in Tasmania. To compound the matter, the road we travelled must be one of the loneliest in the country. There is absolutely no traffic on it - there are alternative routes north and south of here, and locals must avoid RP5 due to distress. We chose this crossover solely because Sarramea lies at its western end.

Signposting on Grande Terre roads is pretty grim generally, but it caused us some worry on this stretch. In the end, the main intersections proved to be marked (often on the road surface) but the unmarked intersections, where there are alternatives of apparently equal importance, were a little nervewracking. We were ever so pleased to find that the intersection in the tribal area of Koh was marked, because a wrong turn here could have had us going out of our way, quite a way, before we would be in a position to confirm it. We missed the town of Kouaoua entirely. It must have been off on a side road.

Sarramea proved to be a tiny little village nestled deeply in a valley that the road plunged into shortly before reaching the main west coast road. It is deep in a very pretty tropical rainforest, and its few attractions are scattered widely around and proved to be hard to find. The feeling is one of Shangri La! Our travel consultants Dianne and Bel in Sydney had us stay at the Evasion Hotel in Sarramea, surely the most upmarket establishment here, featuring 10 luxurious riverside cabins and a superb French restaurant. It is so quiet here! The accommodation and locations recommended to us on Lifou and la Grande Terre has been excellent, varied and highly interesting. A beautiful swimming pool is set by the side of the river, and about 500m upstream is another cascade-swimming hole combination, the “trou Feillet la cuve“. Mike went up there one morning, and had it to himself, but the path was ultra-boggy, with the access to the swimming hole too slippery and way too muddy to attempt on one’s own.

That said, this swimming hole is apparently the must-do activity for Sarramea, and car-loads of visitors park in the nearby lot and put on their oldest shoes to make the trek. We decided not to go up again to see how they were going, because Clare had gone to the trouble of cleaning Mike’s shoes!

We drove to the nearby village of Farino. Whereas Sarramea nestles in the valley, Farino is high up on a huge climb out of the valley. From Farino, there are views right back to the west coast (see photo), and the township is characterised by a miasma of roads reaching into hills and secluded dales. We found a tiny coffee plantation. We found a very pretty and quiet camping area, Le Refuge de Farino, where one family were enjoying well maintained grounds, with their three little children playing (unsupervised, but competently) in a pleasant little river with gentle cascades and a sandy bottom. This was an idyllic location.

We suspect their solitude, or ours, would not last long. Today is Friday 1 May, and we discovered (by the incoming traffic) that today is a public holiday and so it’s a long weekend! The town of La Foa is on the main west coast road, but is very close to Sarramea and Farino so we visited it in our rounds. This is where we saw (for the first time outside of Noumea) heavy traffic, going north out of Noumea. Apparently the beaches near Bourail, north of here, have real surf, so maybe much of the traffic is headed that way. We looked at La Foa’s footbridge and famous movie theatre (film festival every June), topped up with pastries and petrol, and scarpered back to the peace and quiet of Sarramea.

Unless you like horseriding, or undertaking serious hikes, there’s not that much to do in this immediate region, but it is a very pleasant spot to chill out, and we have enjoyed our few days here. This brings our Grande Terre phase to an end, and our final mission in this 4 part luxury odyssey is l'Ile des Pins.

Unbelieveably Beautiful Lifou

The next phase of our New Caledonian odyssey was to be spent on Lifou, one of the Loyalty Islands. We had the choice of three, the others being Mare and Ouvea, but because we thought there was more to see on Lifou, we chose it. The flight from Noumea’s downtown Magenta airport takes 35 minutes, in what appeared to be a sparkling new Air Caledonia aircraft. Industrial action amongst Air Caledonia staff was very apparent at Magenta, and some flights were cancelled, but mercifully, not ours.

The airports at both ends were very busy, and 90% of the travellers were colourfully dressed Kanaks, grouped in large families. We joked that everyone seemed to know everyone else, but that noone knew us. The few Europeans on our flight were French, and maybe they were having a weekend break from the relative hustle and bustle of Noumea!

Lifou (local name Drehu) proved to be unbelieveably beautiful. It is an island maybe 50km tall by 20km wide. Development is very sparse, and the population very few. The few towns are hardly towns at all, with almost no shops or public buildings. The resident population is almost entirely native, and of them, mostly Kanaks we believe. The only non-natives we saw were tourists, easily recognisable by their little Aero rental cars, Hyundai Getz’s (like ours) or baby Citroens or Peugeots. The island is ringed by rugged cliffs interrupted by glistening white sandy beaches. Often, a fringing coral reef is evident only a few hundred metres off shore, inside which the water is a spectacular aquamarine in colour (not surprisingly), the depth of colour depends on the depth of the water and the state of the tide. But its clarity is dazzling. The cliffs, such as at Xodre on the south eastern corner, often plunge into deep water.

We stayed at the Drehu Village Resort which is on the beach in the biggest (!) town of We. This establishment is ultra-comfortable, the rooms are luxurious, and they have a fine French restaurant. Thanks to Dianne and Bel for recommending we upgrade to a suite here. We had all our breakfasts (awfully expensive) and two out of our three dinners at the Drehu Village. The other night we ventured out of town to eat at the Oasis Kiamu, a very intimate affair (for much of meal, we were the only diners), and it was a stern test of our French language skills. There is not much to choose from on Lifou, it’s all pricey, and one thing that discourages our usual eating spontaneity is that, no matter where you eat, you are asked to book up to 24 hours in advance. Not surprisingly, the “local” restaurants specialise in seafood, and the menus sounded much like we could get in Sydney for half the price, so we stuck mostly to French eateries.

Beautiful beaches here are too numerous to mention, but ones we swam at include the Baie de Chateaubriand (at We), Jozip (where the Oasis Restaurant is) and the Baie de Luengoni. But the best of all was Peng, 4km down a rough dirt road (this does not discourage French tourists driving rental voitures. Peng is a spectacular ultra-white beach, renowned for its seclusion, but there were at least two other families there during our visit. There is no surf, just clear blue water, quite smooth if there is no wind. At Peng, one of the families had about 4 young children, and it was great to see that they could swim, and were extremely at home in the water (we don’t know how they would respond to surf). They had an inflatable canoe, and we figured that they must have arrived on Lifou on the ferry which plies between Noumea and We, we don’t know how often, it’s quite a trek.

For an island which is so sparsely populated, it is surprising that nudity is verboten on all beaches. It is not stated, but this is out of respect to the native population who are always well covered. Their sensibilities in this matter are somewhat unexpected since many of their totems feature topless warrior maidens! The French, rather more accustomed to skinny dipping than the Kanaks, seem to accept these restrictions reluctantly but gracefully. By the way, it is more than apparent and not at all surprising that the local population are well adapted to the ocean. The children especially seem to enjoy swimming, diving in and out with squeals of joy, and have taken up modern trappings of windsurfing pretty successfully by the look of it.

The only industry we noted on Lifou is that of vanilla bean plantations. For a small fee, many plantations will provide a guided tour, not much good to us, they are all in French.

The cliffs at Jokin are worth a special mention. They are spectacular in themselves, but what really amazes is the coral reefs and crystal clear water at the bottom. There is a steep path down the cliff at Jokin, and you can get in and swim/snorkel, but the access to and from the water is perilous. Arriving at the top of these cliffs in our Getz, we found the road obstructed by a tree trunk, placed there by two boys who explained (we think) that they wanted us to go round the church another way out of respect to the service taking place (it was Sunday morning).

Nearby, is the Baie du Santal, a particularly beautiful bay apparently visited by P&O Cruise ships. Their passengers are tendered to the miniscule town of Xepenehe/Easo and from there they can visit a church on the headland, Notre Dame de Lourds. It’s apparent this rather inaccessible church is not used much any more, but it seems to be well visited by devout or interested Catholic tourists.The next phase of our New Caledonian odyssey was to be spent on Lifou, one of the Loyalty Islands. We had the choice of three, the others being Mare and Ouvea, but because we thought there was more to see on Lifou, we chose it. The flight from Noumea’s downtown Magenta airport takes 35 minutes, in what appeared to be a sparkling new Air Caledonia aircraft. Industrial action amongst Air Caledonia staff was very apparent at Magenta, and some flights were cancelled, but mercifully, not ours.

The airports at both ends were very busy, and 90% of the travellers were colourfully dressed Kanaks, grouped in large families. We joked that everyone seemed to know everyone else, but that noone knew us. The few Europeans on our flight were French, and maybe they were having a weekend break from the relative hustle and bustle of Noumea!

Lifou (local name Drehu) proved to be unbelieveably beautiful. It is an island maybe 50km tall by 20km wide. Development is very sparse, and the population very few. The few towns are hardly towns at all, with almost no shops or public buildings. The resident population is almost entirely native, and of them, mostly Kanaks we believe. The only non-natives we saw were tourists, easily recognisable by their little Aero rental cars, Hyundai Getz’s (like ours) or baby Citroens or Peugeots. The island is ringed by rugged cliffs interrupted by glistening white sandy beaches. Often, a fringing coral reef is evident only a few hundred metres off shore, inside which the water is a spectacular aquamarine in colour (not surprisingly), the depth of colour depends on the depth of the water and the state of the tide. But its clarity is dazzling. The cliffs, such as at Xodre on the south eastern corner, often plunge into deep water.

We stayed at the Drehu Village Resort which is on the beach in the biggest (!) town of We. This establishment is ultra-comfortable, the rooms are luxurious, and they have a fine French restaurant. We had all our breakfasts (awfully expensive) and two out of our three dinners here. The other night we ventured out of town to eat at the Oasis Kiamu, a very intimate affair (for much of meal, we were the only diners), and it was a stern test of our French language skills. There is not much to choose from on Lifou, it’s all pricey, and one thing that discourages our usual eating spontaneity is that, no matter where you eat, you are asked to book up to 24 hours in advance. Not surprisingly, the “local” restaurants specialise in seafood, and the menus sounded much like we could get in Sydney for half the price, so we stuck mostly to French eateries.

Beautiful beaches here are too numerous to mention, but ones we swam at include the Baie de Chateaubriand (at We), Jozip (where the Oasis Restaurant is) and the Baie de Luengoni. But the best of all was Peng, 4km down a rough dirt road (this does not discourage French tourists driving rental voitures. Peng is a spectacular ultra-white beach, renowned for its seclusion, but there were at least two other families there during our visit. There is no surf, just clear blue water, quite smooth if there is no wind. At Peng, one of the families had about 4 young children, and it was great to see that they could swim, and were extremely at home in the water (we don’t know how they would respond to surf). They had an inflatable canoe, and we figured that they must have arrived on Lifou on the ferry which plies between Noumea and We, we don’t know how often, it’s quite a trek.

For an island which is so sparsely populated, it is surprising that nudity is verboten on all beaches. It is not stated, but this is out of respect to the native population who are always well covered. Their sensibilities in this matter are somewhat unexpected since many of their totems feature topless warrior maidens! The French, rather more accustomed to skinny dipping than the Kanaks, seem to accept these restrictions reluctantly but gracefully. By the way, it is more than apparent and not at all surprising that the local population are well adapted to the ocean. The children especially seem to enjoy swimming, diving in and out with squeals of joy, and have taken up modern trappings of windsurfing pretty successfully by the look of it.

The only industry we noted on Lifou is that of vanilla bean plantations. For a small fee, many plantations will provide a guided tour, not much good to us, they are all in French.

The cliffs at Jokin are worth a special mention. They are spectacular in themselves, but what really amazes is the coral reefs and crystal clear water at the bottom. There is a steep path down the cliff at Jokin, and you can get in and swim/snorkel, but the access to and from the water is perilous. Arriving at the top of these cliffs in our Getz, we found the road obstructed by a tree trunk, placed there by two boys who explained (we think) that they wanted us to go round the church another way out of respect to the service taking place (it was Sunday morning).
Nearby, is the Baie du Santal, a particularly beautiful bay apparently visited by P&O Cruise ships. Their passengers are tendered to the miniscule town of Xepenehe/Easo and from there they can visit a church on the headland, Notre Dame de Lourds. It’s apparent this rather inaccessible church is not used much any more, but it seems to be well visited by devout or interested Catholic tourists.

Lifou is somewhat cursed with litter, plastic bags and beer cans. We suspect that tourists are not to blame for this. But the townships of Mu and Xodre are trying to address the problem with a clean-up campaign apparent, and it is clearly paying off, because this part of the island was notably better than elsewhere. We rested at a beach reserve at Mu where the benefits of this campaign were manifest. There were clean and tidy tables and chairs, and a beach shower which we took advantage of and would put most in Australia, even at Bondi, to shame. Congratulations to this township!

As we found in Paris, many people in this outpost of Lifou are much more competent at English than we are at French. It’s surely a credit to the education system. People will burst into English of a high quality when they hear our pathetic attempts to converse in their language. It’s rather embarrassing. We overheard a Japanese businessman speaking fluent French at the hotel. Is it not a curse of the English speaking world that we tend to be monolingual?

New Caledonia - Noumea

After years of waiting for the opportunity, we are finally taking a two week holiday in New Caledonia. The flight over was with Air Calin which was comfortable and uneventful. The seat pitch was a lot more generous than it is in many other economy classes we have endured. If only it was just a 2.5 hour flight to everywhere! Immigration and customs formalities were a breeze, compared with Mike's visit here many years ago on business when Australians required a visa and French officials were snooty reminders of the Rainbow Warrior.

Money could be easily changed at the airport, when the truth is first brought home to you that the Australian dollar is pretty miserable at the moment. The French Pacific Franc (official name XPF, we think, but it also goes by numerous other abbreviations) is permanently tied to the Euro and one Aussie battler only gets 60XPF and it takes 200XPF to buy a bus ticket in Noumea!

The deals to come to New Caledonia were excellent (mostly 2 for 1), so we lashed out spent our first 3 nights in Noumea at Le Meridien. We suspect this was previously a Club Med. This uber-expensive hotel is ultra comfortable, but suffers the disease of 5 star hotels everywhere, and charges extra for almost everything, even for a towel at the pool, and not a nominal sum either.


Le Meridien is just on the edge of the Anse Vata area of Noumea, where most visitors stay, we think. The hotel fronts onto Anse Vata beach, a very popular and pretty beach, spectacular blue in the sunlight, no surf, lots of activities can be hired such as windsurfers, kayaks etc. Anse Vata town runs in a strip along the beachfront, and features lots of cafes, restaurants, tourist shops. On the Anse Vata pier there is a noisy bar, a dance club, and a top notch restaurant called Le Roof, into which we did not venture.

Off Anse Vata beach are two islands, one is Ile des Canards, just a 5 minute water taxi ride. This is for day trippers wanting to swim and sunbake without too much riff-raff. The other is Ilot Maitre, a tad further out, featuring a luxury resort with over-water bures.

Jogging, walking and biking for recreation is very popular, and at the coastline around Anse Vata and nearby "mountain" Ouen Toro is blessed with a great track that is well utilised. The wild bush around Ouen Toro contains hiking trails ranging in difficulty to "tres difficile". The advanced tracks are poorly marked and Mike almost got lost on this mountain on our last day in Noumea!

Public transport is excellent, with a network of colour coded bus routes. The fare structure is simple - all journeys, no matter how far, cost XPF200. The green bus services between Anse Vata and the city, and we used it quite a bit. It's not so far, though, only about 2 hours to walk the full distance, and plenty to see on the way.

Noumea is very French, as one would expect, although it must be a disappointment to expatriate Parisians. Just too small for French sophistication, and frankly, we thought the city area was more than a little bit seedy, with not much going for it. Cafes which abound in Paris are few and far between in Noumea downtown, but we found a very pleasant one at the side of the cruise liner terminal. We also saw the "Pacific Dawn" depart Noumea bound for parts unknown (to us). We did a lot of walking around downtown - there were some interesting colonial buildings, but overall, pretty uninspiring. The
view from the top of the hill behind downtown was excellent. Noumea has a large natural harbour, and the whole area was apparently a major base for the US Navy during WW2. A memorial near the harbour thanks the US for protecting them at this time.

The native population (kanaks) is substantial and seems to be largely underemployed. This obseravtion is anecdotal and may be inaccurate of course, but there's a lot of people hanging around the streets with little to do, by appearances.

Le Meridien provided us with vouchers for free drinks and 500XPF gambling chips at one of the casinos. We had our free drink (beer or soft drink only), but it was so smoky inside we quickly sought to escape for fresh air. In Paris, you can't smoke inside cafes and restaurants since January 2008, but this enlightened law has not yet arrived in New Caledonia.

We enjoyed our meals in Noumea, but the prices are poisonous to Australians. We did and will continue to target French food, with occasional excursions into Asian food (such restaurants seem to be very popular), and maybe local tucker too.

Luckily, English is widely spoken, because we have proved again that our command of French is very limited. The best environment for us to speak French is in a restaurant. In the streets and elsewhere, we are way out of our depth!